Rule me out

I’ve been having trouble finding comfortable clothes, lately. As an unusually tall woman (185cm), it’s always been tricky, but having put on a lot of weight while wrangling long covid and catastrophically bad hips, it’s now almost impossible. Clothes are either fiendishly uncomfortable, constantly slipping down, or incredibly ugly. Often all three.

I have, however, found a source of incredibly soft pyjamas that are comfortable, don’t fall down, and are actually attractive. The t-shirts or tank tops that go with them are scoop or v-necked (I hate necklines that are too close to my throat) and long enough to be flattering on a tall torso, and the pants have elastic waists that don’t fall down OR threaten to bisect me in a terminal fashion. AND they have pockets! Functional pockets! They even come in attractive colours!

These, in case you are wondering, are exactly the clothes I would like to wear during the day, too.

So. Um. Why don’t I? Where did I sign the contract that said I will never wear soft, comfortable clothes in the daytime? Who wrote that contract, anyway? I’m currently wearing a pair of denim shorts that is made of weirdly hard fabric, not particularly comfortable, and keeps slipping down. Why am I not, instead, wearing the pants that come with these pyjamas? They’re cute, they have functional pockets (unlike these shorts, which have that most enraging of design features, false pockets), and they’re comfortable. What makes them pyjamas instead of daywear?

Now, this is not intended to be an advertisement for Bamboo Island (give me a moment to go buy shares in the company, THEN it will be an ad for them! 😉 ). But as I was wrangling a particularly uncomfortable and unflattering top this morning, I burst out “why don’t I just wear pyjamas???” And, you know, I have no idea. Why do I bother wearing anything that’s not comfortable, flattering, and functional? Why don’t I, in fact, wear pyjamas all the time?

Particularly when it turns out that Bamboo Island do, in fact, sell much the same items separately, as tops and pants. The pants are slightly different though, because they have stretchy fabric waistlines, instead of elastic ones, which means that they are slightly smoother, but fall down constantly (on me, at least). Oh, and they are more expensive. So they cost more, are less comfortable/practical, and they look much the same. Gotcha.

Today I bought several sets of pyjamas that I will use as separate tops and pants, and I am so thrilled with them. Who is to know? Apart, of course, from anyone who reads my blog now (please don’t tell!).

This makes me wonder about some of the other weird rules we have about the way we go about our days. There’s much to be said for social norms as ways to help us navigate the complexity of dealing with other people, especially people we don’t know. It helps to understand things like when to shake hands, and I get that flimsy, see through pyjamas might not be considered appropriate daywear, but why are we so keen on the rules that make no sense?

Rules like: Eggs, cereal, and toast are breakfast food, and pasta, steak, and cheesecake are not.

Dessert goes at the end of the meal.

Cereals like fruit loops and coco pops, which are sweeter than most desserts, are breakfast food and not dessert food. (Cereal, in fact, turns out to be a triumph of marketing over nutrition.)

Rules like: Suits and ties are required for certain occasions, but only for men.

High heels are necessary for formal wear.

Bra straps must not be visible. (My bra straps were visible while I was out today and absolutely nobody died as a result. At least, not that I noticed.)

Men can be shirtless in public but women cannot.

Makeup is required for work or formal wear for women. I haven’t worn makeup at all in decades, apart from that one time I was on tv, on Q&A, and while many people have died in that time, I am fairly confident this is a case of correlation but not causation. If I am wrong and my lack of makeup is actually killing people, then I have some fairly serious questions about the nature of causality.

I get that we can’t go questioning all the rules all of the time, because we’d never get anything done. But if there is something that would make your life easier, healthier, or more fun, and it wouldn’t harm anyone, but it’s “not the done thing”, maybe ask yourself whether you could make it the done thing, simply by doing it! And if you feel tempted to criticise someone for having breakfast for dinner, not wearing a tie, or wearing something that looks suspiciously soft, comfortable and pyjama like, ask yourself whether you might be better off joining in, rather than enforcing nonsensical rules.

Heresy!